Question by harley jane: Help making an important choice about living situations?
okay I’m a teenage girl, and I’ll be the first to admit it. My world revolves around my friends and I don’t know what I would do without them. This is mostly because I am not close with either sides of my immediate family. My parents were divorced a year and a half ago, and they both started seeing new people immediately. my father’s girlfriend has four kids, one of which is almost my exact age. my Mother’s boyfriend lives in bozeman, montana. Bozeman is three hours drive away from my current house. I live with my mom primarily, but every three months for the past year and a half i have been making significant changes to my routine including school changes, weekend schedules, parents getting different jobs, and having to spend more time with my future step- families. Now, my mom is looking for houses in montana to live closer to her boyfriend. like i previously mentioned, i am very very close with my friends who live in my current city, and they are my world. Since i live with my mother, I was supposed to movet o bozeman with her when she goes. But i just can’t bring myself to move again. So, i decided i would live with my dad. But because of recent personal events, I really don’t want to live with my dad anymore either. my best friend of eight years has offered for me to live with her, but neither of my parents will consider it as an option. I feel like i am stuck between a rock and a hard place, and that there is no way out. I am increasingly suicidal every day, And my mother knows this. she wants to bring me to counseling, but i know that she will whine about the finances of it and the counselor won’t even be able to help because my dad won’t stop being a jerk and my mom won’t delay the move. I don’t know what to do. Does anybody have any suggestions?

Best answer:

Answer by Sabr
I know at the moment, your friends are your world. But your parents are being responsible in not leaving you. You only have one set of parents and there are ways that they will care about you that no one else can. If you did live with your friend, you would realise this, that even though seem like they are your lives, they have their own families and you will never be their family at the end of the day. Also, you are not living with them at the moment and living with them could change your relationship for the worst.

It is nice that you have friends, and you could still keep in contact with them whenever you need to talk to them but then when you leave school, you will see that you may all part and then go on to make different friends aswell.

There is no love like a mother’s love and no one will care or worry for you as much as her. You will need your mother more than you know. At the moment you are taking it for granted, but if she wasn’t there then you would realise how difficult it is without a mother’s love someone that is family.

Answer by edie
you need to consider the situation and let the friends go because you can find new friends any where. there is enough going on with your parents, the divorce then moving and finding new jobs without you whining about leaving a friend and committing suicide because you don’t want to move. you are the child and you are to do as you are told until you can get on your own and do for yourself. you should be more considerate than selfish. i’m sure that your parents will be very appreciative. my suggestion is to grow up and see that you are not the only person that may have problems. and you don’t really have a problem if you are worried about leaving suppose to be friends. you need to worry about if your parents are going to find good jobs to support you. and you need some thing else to be your world besides friends. and if you can make it easier on your parents try to do that and try to get use to yur new surrounding instead of wanting to make a deal with a friends parents to stay with them. you have parents you need to be grateful for that. and make that work.

Answer by Shaman
Sweetie! Just forget about the suicide talk! There is no easy answer to this situation, and at your age, of course…your friends are very important. When adults go through divorce, they don’t really realize what the kids go through. What has happened that makes you not want to live with your dad? Can you talk to him? Or don’t you feel like he would be on your side?
Ask your friend if her parents could talk to your mom.
Also…how old are you? You said you are a teenager, but are you 13, or more like 17? It does make a difference if you are talking about not living with your mom. It feels devastating, I know. You feel like you are in limbo, but you want to stay where your friends are. If you DID go with your mom, if she moves, you will make new friends, AND you can stay in touch with your current friends. You can get through this. I can tell that you are a very smart, articulate young woman, so you will get through whatever happens, here. ABOVE ALL……Do not even entertain the thought of suicide! As awful as your situation may seem to you right now, in years to come, you will look back at this as not so awful!
Do talk to someone you trust about how you feel, be it a relative, a friend’s parent, a teacher….anyone! And tell them what you said in this post. And, don’t try to predict what your mom would say about counseling. Tell her you want it and NEED it! You need to talk to someone, now!
Good luck!

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